


Never is a promise

by lumenlunae



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25688659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumenlunae/pseuds/lumenlunae
Summary: Ian reflects what happened after the situation with Mickey's father.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Kudos: 17





	Never is a promise

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: very short. And I'm sorry for the graphic language. This takes place after season 3 episode 6.

Mickey hasn’t shown up yet. What the fuck? How about just a message or whatever just so I can fucking stop worrying about him. And I hate admitting that I worry. Bet he knows that I do.  
Maybe I should ask Mandy. She might know. But then again, what do I tell her? That I’m fucking in love with him? No thanks. He’ll reject me either way. Why should he want whatever I want when he’s perfectly fine on his own? Not like I could offer any benefits. He’d just get beat up by his dad.  
I don’t even know why the fuck I ever thought we could be ‘something’. I mean, come on, he’s fucking afraid to kiss me. He’s just so confusing. I wish I could just tell him what I feel without messing it all up again. Every damn time I open my mouth I talk shit. No fucking wonder we always fight. I just can’t say it right.  
Can’t blame him for reacting like this if I fucking behave like an idiot. Maybe it’s just that the timing isn’t right. Or maybe he’s just completely better off without me. Which, fucking hell, if that’s the case, I don’t know how to continue this shitshow. Bet he won’t talk to me again. Won’t even fucking look at me. I hate it. I hate to know that I want this so much more than he does and I hate that I think about him all the time. It makes me feel like the fucking scum of the earth.  
I should leave him alone, bet he’ll have less problems without me. He’s gonna marry her anyways. I know he has no choice, but fuck, it hurts. Didn’t fucking realize that I’m such a whiny fucking asshole. Why on earth can't I just leave him alone and spare myself the heartbreak? Fuck, did I just say that? The hell am I thinking. I should just stop now. Maybe I'll find him up the old building. He's there too often.  
But does he even want me there? Probably not. I mean, why would he? He fucked her and we don't talk anymore. Thinking about it makes me want to scream. At that point, his father should have just pulled the trigger. Why the fuck was he even there? He fucking destroyed everything. Just had the best fucking day of my life and then this fucking asshole shows up and just screws everything over. Bad timing. Maybe in a few years we have a chance. I fucking hope we do. Because it's fucking hard to let go of a soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is always welcome.


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